Unraveling

IMG_9151
Illustration by Poet Rummager

Jeans faded like memories.
Blue is the color she wears.
Love unravels in her pocket.
Torn smiles impossible to repair.
The buttons hang by a thread.
She won’t think to mend any
and pulls on them instead.

 

I’m going to spend this weekend with my friend, Pat, who has been diagnosed with dementia. I’ve witnessed her steady decline over the four years I’ve known her. I have a feeling this may be my last time with her. Since last Sunday, she has now called me, on the phone, fifteen times; forgetting what we’ve talked about and sounding frightened.

Sheldon Kleeman’s work, “Wrangler” also inspired this poem. Click HERE to visit my friend, Shel!

70 comments

  1. Lovely, heartbreaking poem, Rose. I particularly like “Love unravels in her pocket.”
    I’m so sorry about your friend. I’m with Derrick that I hope your visit is as good as it can be.
    ( I’m picturing you as Catwoman now.) πŸ™‚ Hugs!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I’m sorry to hear about your friend, Rose … dementia is a soul-sucker. Your poem evokes a scary-sad feeling of being lost in your own mind and knowing you’ll never find your way back.
    kat

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    • Eloquently stated lovely Dru. I’m trying to be a good friend, but I’m also a little nervous. My husband thinks I’m unwise to have Pat spend the night, but this will probably be my last real time with her. Always appreciate your visits. πŸ’‹πŸ¦‹

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  3. It’s emotionally draining to be with a friend in pain (in body or in spirit), to be there for them, knowing you can do nothing other than the being there. She’s lucky to have you for a friend.
    Beautiful, blue poem, Rose.
    Cathy

    Liked by 1 person

    • You’re right, Cathy. Watching Pat, I see the sparks ignite her amazing personality. She is so witty, but there have been moments when shadows cross her face. I can’t imagine how she must feel. There’s a constant on and off switch that’s happening in her mind. Overall, she laughs at herself and is incredibly courageous. She’s teaching me a lot of what bravery really is. I’m very lucky to have her in my life. Thank you so much! πŸ’™

      Liked by 1 person

      • Even in a heartbreaking situation, there are moments of beauty–I learned that while caring for my mother as her mind was slipping away near the end of her life. Some of my most precious memories concerning her came about during this time. And now when I think back, I tend to forget the bad and remember the good. That’s what Mama would want.
        And I’m sure that’s what your friend would want. πŸ’™

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  4. It’s a difficult time… and the signal you are a true friend for her, and it’s something nice that you are there and you are going to be strong for both of you. Take care so much, Rose, in your words it seems like not but I hope it could be a change for better for her.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Even if you friend doesn’t remember much of your weekend she will remember your love, Rose. Lots of fragrant smells linked to the things you do or talk about will be a way for her to hold onto the emotional resonance of the weekend, if not an actual memory. It worked for my grandmother for a time. Lots of love to you and Pat.

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    • Those are lovely thoughts, Kate! We’re supposed to go shopping at this cute gift/art store by my house. I’ll see if they have a lavender sachet. Pat loves that scent. She can place it on her bedside table. Thanks a million, love!! 😘🌹

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      • Even things like the strong smell of freshly brewed coffee (even if she doesn’t drink it) can help. Grandma would recall things we spoke of when the same smell was around and the same people or concepts were discussed the next time around. She lived with my aunt who discovered the connection. They are both gone now, sadly. Enjoy your time together, Rose.

        Liked by 1 person

      • I found a lavender soap she really liked. She said that lavender reminds her of her neighbor’s yard when she was growing up.
        Fascinating how the potency of our sense of smell has on conjuring up memories. Thanks so much, KateπŸ’‹

        Liked by 1 person

    • Not one knows the insidious effects of such a disease as a caretaker. These are the unsung heroes. I salute those like you who stand unwavering by their loved ones side through all the pain and unraveling.
      ❀

      Thank you, Mel, my brilliant scientist friend.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Rose, you are such a beautiful friend… just when she needs you at this sad time of her life. No words can describe what she is going through! You are there for her, just being with her will comfort her… This is such an inspiring, yet moving post. My thoughts and prayers ❀

    Liked by 1 person

    • Your words always are full of support and light. A million thanks, Iris! Pat is one of the most genuine soul I’ve ever met. I count my lucky stars for having met her. She has taught me so much about kindness and simple joys. ❀️ πŸ’› πŸ’š πŸ’™ πŸ’œ

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