♕ ♛ ♔ Cruddy Crown ♕ ♛ ♔
I’m the king of crud.
Inside, a rat gnaws my soul.
My heart pumps black blood.
A few words and a riveting book trailer by my friend, FlyTrapMan.
There are a variety of bastards and some are more furry than others—it’s a fact.
…Leather jackets…switchblades…incisors…whiskers…a vermin epidemic is making everyone grow a tail and society can’t put up with that kind of nonsense.
Food poisoning? A scientific experiment gone wrong? A million year old curse? Who knows. Sometimes we need a little push to bring out our worst—because somewhere deep inside…way deep…there’s a little rat in all of us.
“Werewolves are a pain in the ass every full moon. Rats are pain in the ass…
…all of the time.”—Ancient Proverb
He walks up the stairwell and turns left down a short hallway. The delivery boy stands in front of apartment 6 and knocks.
No answer.
He tries again.
A scream erupts from apartment 5.
“Fuckin’ mutt! I’m going to throw you out of the window!”
Apartment 6 opens.
“Ummm…here’s your order.” The delivery boy says.
A guy in a black leather jacket digs inside a pocket, revealing a handful of dollars.
“Keep the change.”
He hands over the cash, takes the clear plastic bags, and shuts the door. The guy in the leather jacket rests the bags on top of a stack of Big Jugs Monthly.
“Glenn — the dog food arrived.”
A short man, wearing a backwards hat, steps out of the bathroom.
“Already? We called five minutes ago! Artie — hand me a bag — I’m going to check the order.”
Artie’s eyes shift toward the television.
“…Master Disaster won’t stay down! He can’t be defeated! Look at him! Look at that unstoppable abomination!”
Glenn tosses a glance toward the television.
“Come on? How can you watch this shit? You know it’s fake…right?“
Artie shrugs his shoulders and opens a fortune cookie: We must transform to ascend.
He crushes the fortune inside the palm of his hand and flicks it behind a pile of empty beer cans.
“Yeah? So? That vampire show you watch is fake. At least these people bleed real blood!”
Glenn shakes his head.
“You’re missing the point…and they don’t always bleed real blood!…I can tell by the smell that they got the order wrong.”
Artie laughs.
“What else is new?”
He walks toward the window and looks down the street. The delivery boy escorts a woman in a purple dress toward a rusted parked car toward the end of the block. Glenn grabs the remote and changes the channel to Animal Galaxy.
“…A tree sloth only climbs down from the tree canopy to defecate, putting itself at sever risk from all types of predators…”
Glenn opens a box of pork fried rice.
Click To Continue Reading!!!
I am a fan of rat kings.
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Hmm. Why doesn’t that surprise me? 😊
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Hi Rose.
Did you write this?
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The book is by Fly.
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The haiku is mine. I’ll try to make it clearer. Thanks Alan.
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Sorry Rose.
I was a bit confused.
Must be getting old.
Anyway, it’s a very good Haiku. ❤️
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Welcome to the club! 😜 Thanks Alan 😘
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good Haiku, of course!!
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King of crud? That’s my type of king! Thanks for sharing the trailer and book — the rats appreciate it.
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An appreciative rat makes sharing more fun. 🐀
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As long as the rat doesn’t have fleas.
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Nice ancient proverb 🙂
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It looks like it’s enjoying being combed! Lol. Thanks darling!! ❤ 🐁 Have you ever had a rodent for a pet, T?
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This rat snatched my attention away from the King rat. What a cute rat it is and look how it loves being combed. 🙂
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It’s very sweet! 🐁
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It sure is. Looks like you too are fond of sweet cats and rats 🙂
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I am truly a fan of the way you describe thing…:) loved it..:)
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Damn! I sure wish I could take the credit, but the only thing I wrote in this post is the haiku right below the top image. FlyTrapMan wrote everything else (you can find his blog link above the top image) or here: https://flytrapman.wordpress.com/
Thank you! ⍟ ❥ ツ ღ ☻
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I didn’t appreciation your describing thing not only in this thing but every other post i have read from your blog..:) and yes you can take that credit ..<3
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Okay! I will not only take the credit, I’ll run away with it 😀 Thank you kindly! xo
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Such a wonderful soul your..Glad to have known you here..:)
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Soul? Um, I don’t know if I have one. Haha!! Just kidding… kinda 🙂 Thanks again and glad to meet you, too. I’m enjoying your blog!
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Thank you…I am just a beginner to all this blog stuff just trying to fall deep to know new things..:)
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That’s some gruesomely great imagery you have in that haiku, Rose. 🙂
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Hey, thanks BunK! I wrote the haiku to fit Fly’s ebook. I’m glad the gruesome poem didn’t scare you! 😊
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No, it was the nice kind of gruesome. 🙂
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Reblogged this on Crazy Pasta Child.
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Thanks Penney 🙂
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where’s the Pied Piper when you need him?
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